Cousinly Love
by Nehszriah
Summary: Written while on tortilla chips and some really spicy salsa. Meant only to mock and humiliate Sanji.


Here is a one-shot. No updates. Inspired by the Challenges thread in zenfry's "One Piece Fanfiction" forum. OCs are fun and I wish that there is at least a possibility for this to have happened, but it's unlikely. I do not own _One Piece_. By the way, this takes place sometime after Arlong Park, but before Baroque Works. No Chopper. No Vivi. No Robin.

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**Cousinly Love**

"Why do I hang out with you lot again?" Nami sighed, glaring at her male crew members as they sat in a tavern booth. All four men were participating in their own miniature food fight and were laughing and joking rowdily. Their behavior had nearly emptied the tavern, only a few other booths still occupied in the entire, and very large, establishment.

"Come on Nami! This is fun!" Luffy giggled.

"Well, your 'fun' is getting us all dirty looks. I leave you guys alone for two hours to go clothes shopping and this is what happens!"

"Don't you worry about it my dear Nami-swan," Sanji purred, standing up and kissing the back of Nami's hand. "If that is what you want, I will pledge on my love to not participate in the childish competition any more."

"You started it though," Zoro snickered as he wiped some applesauce from his cheek. Sanji turned around and began beating the swordsman with a drumstick.

"Whatever," Nami sighed. "I'll go negotiate with the owner and see if I can get him to forgive you guys for this mess. I am not paying for this!" She huffed off and left the rest of the crew to grapple.

"We should do this more often!" Luffy grinned as he squished some mashed potatoes between his fingers before eating it.

"No, I don't think that Sanji would like it if we did this in the galley," Usopp said, glancing over at how Zoro and Sanji were going on the verge of a fistfight. Sanji had only been with the crew for a few weeks and he had been fighting with the swordsman as if they had painfully old grudges going against one another.

"That's it!" Sanji sneered, shoving Zoro away with his foot. Zoro landed with a thump on the floor and accidently jammed his elbow into the hilt of a sword.

"Ah!" he snapped. "That hurt!"

"You're going to hurt in more places than that you idiot marimo brain..." Sanji threatened as he exited the booth and stood up. He was about to shout some more insults when a voice cut him off.

"Sanji!" shouted a voice, decidedly male. The blond glanced over to his right to see a man standing by a nearby booth, his ginger colored hair ruffled and falling into his face and nearly covering both his amber eyes.

"Do I know you?" the cook asked. The man just walked up to Sanji and looked him dead in the eye.

"I can't believe it really is you!" the man smiled as he saw Sanji's curly eyebrow. He went to shove the hair away from the blond's left eye, but his hand was smacked away.

"Who do you think you are!" Sanji growled. Zoro, Luffy and Usopp looked on in wonder.

"Don't you recognize me?" the man asked.

"No," Sanji replied frankly.

"Maybe this will help," the man lifted up the air from his face to reveal two black and very curly... _eyebrows_.

"Kenta...?" Sanji gasped. The ginger-haired man just laughed and embraced Sanji, shocking the remaining crew members.

"Sanji! I knew it was you!" he grinned. "We thought you were dead!"

"Well, it's a long story there, cousin," Sanji replied, taking Kenta and removing his arms from his jacket. "You sure are as... amiable... as ever."

"That's your cousin?" Luffy asked, getting up into Kenta's face, making the man jump back.

"Yeah. Kenta, this is my captain, Luffy," Sanji said. He then looked over at Zoro and Usopp and waved his hand nonchalantly. "Then them."

"How long has it been, twelve years?" Kenta asked, not minding that Zoro and Usopp were now doling out threats to his cousin. "I remember you being so much shorter..."

"That's because you're six years older than me," Sanji grumbled, shaking his fist as if it was a fact constantly rubbed in his face as a child. Kenta seemed to not notice much, considering he allowed Luffy to take and sit him in a chair at the end of their booth table.

"Tell us about Sanji!" the young captain requested.

"Yeah, nice blackmail material if you don't mind," Zoro put in with a smirk.

"Not now," Sanji muttered as he slid back into his seat.

"You know, Dad must have driven himself crazy looking for you," Kenta said, glancing over at Sanji. "It pretty much killed him trying to find you, saying that he never should have let you take that apprenticeship."

"I'm not killed that easily." Sanji lit a cigarette and took a long, calming drag. One of the last things he wanted at that moment was a family reunion. "Uncle Jou should have known that."

"Well, since the war, there has been nothing. Both of our families are wiped out," Kenta said as he sighed heavily. "We were able to find your parents and my mom's bodies, but my sister's completely gone."

"Wasn't she what... only a year old?" Sanji asked. "Babies do not survive wars."

"What are you two talking about?" Usopp asked. Sanji shot the sniper a glare that made him shrink back in his seat.

"There was a war in the part of the North Blue where we grew up that involved several countries and cost many civilians their lives. Sanji and I were lucky enough to be in Rogue Town with my father when it started, so we were never involved," Kenta said. "It was seventeen years ago already. Man. I can barely believe that I was only eight."

"That's sad," Luffy commented as he drank a mug of grog. He then ripped into another rack of meat. "You must miss them."

"Yeah," Kenta sighed. Sanji saw his cousin's eyes go out of focus as he stared at the messy table.

"...and who might you be?" suddenly snarled Nami's voice, catching the attention of the five men. She was standing angrily next to Kenta's chair, tapping her foot as she awaited a response.

"Hiroko?" Kenta whispered as he stared up at Nami.

"Hey there Nami-swaan!" Sanji swooned. "This is my cousin! I don't believe you've..."

"Hiroko! It's you!" Kenta squealed, grasping Nami in a crushing hug. "I can't believe it! Who would have known I would find both of you in the same place?"

"San...ji..." Nami growled. "Get this guy off of me."

"Hey Zoro, do you see what I see?" Usopp asked quietly.

"Uh, no...?" the swordsman replied.

"Look at Kenta."

"Looking."

"Look at Nami."

"Yeah, and...?"

"Now look at both of them."

"What about them?"

"Hair... eyes..."

"I don't get it. Shut up now. You're pissing me off."

"Why would I want to let go of my baby sister who I have not seen in years?" Kenta asked, holding Nami by her forearms so that he could properly look at her. "Wow. You grew up to look just like Mom. How did you survive the war?"

"What...?" Nami asked. Sanji immediately stepped into action.

"Whoa, you think that Nami-swan's your sister?" he asked in a snappy voice.

"Yes..."

"How dare you...!"

"Excuse me, but I'm adopted," Nami interjected.

"Really?" Kenta asked. "How?"

"A soldier found me and my foster sister on a battlefield and she took care of us at her home in the East Blue," Nami said frankly. "Now if you please, remove your hands from my arms or I will kick you in a place where you would rather my heel stay away from..."

"Wait... where is it?" Kenta asked, patting his pockets in search of something. Luffy, Zoro and Usopp looked on in wonder as the man retrieved a grimy-looking piece of paper from his pants pocket and shoved it in Nami's face.

"There!" he said firmly. "That's us Hiroko, before Mom and Dad died." Nami took the picture and stared at it. The woman holding a small baby did look just like she did. It was frightening. The man and the boy appeared as Kenta did, curly eyebrow and all.

"So if this is true," Nami said. "Then you are my brother. That means that..." She looked over at Sanji and pointed. "You're my cousin too."

"Incest," Zoro coughed loudly into his fist as Usopp and Luffy tried to hold back laughter. Sanji's eyes grew wide and watery.

"N-N-Nam-m-mi-s-s-swan-n...?" he sniffled. Nami broke out into a cruel cackle as the blond man sunk to the floor in shame.

Of all the women, in all the seas, he **_had _**to be related to _this one_...


End file.
